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Who Is CrystaLin Joy?
And how is she qualified to lead others on a path out of the stress that plagues us all, to a life filled with joy? It has been a long, challenging journey for her with little guidance from the world to find her way. But, find her way she did. And so can You.
This is CrystaLin’s Story in a nutshell.
Once upon a time, a little girl was born to parents that weren’t properly trained to be “parents.” Not really their fault ~ their own parents suffered the same fate. In fact, generations of parents before them were poorly equipped to raise happy, healthy children. Not really their fault either ~ children were basically slave labor on farms that sorely needed extra hands to survive. And so a legacy of abuse and neglect was passed down generation to generation. (Can you imagine all those “unloved, under appreciated and overworked” children? No wonder the world was full of anger, conquest and pillage! All those pent up emotions had to go somewhere!) No one really knew there was a better way, they just did what their parents had done before them.
How does CrystaLin know this? She spent a year researching and writing a Masters Thesis on this subject trying to understand why parents could be so harsh on their innocent children. Why her? She tried soooo hard to be “good.”
CrystaLin’s mother had been a beauty queen, talented and self-occupied, she won CrystaLin’s father’s affections at a roller rink where she was competing. She proposed and they were married. Her parents hated him and told her to choose – them or him. She chose him. They disowned her – for her lifetime. She had several miscarriages before the little girl was born. However, pregnancy was not kind to her and she blamed that on the little girl. She hated that little girl ~ she wanted a boy. Oh, she tried not to let people know how much she hated her daughter by keeping up “appearances,” but the child suffered her hostility, anger and alienation her entire life in silence. She was constantly told how ugly, despicable, stupid and worthless she was. No hugs, stories read at bedtime, or tender moments, ever. She was fed, clothed and had a room to go to bed whenever people came to the house (children were not to be seen nor heard in that house).
When she was four, she had piano lessons for six months ~ then a recital. She made a single mistake, corrected it (shaking uncontrollably in fear of her parents wrath), and ran off the stage. Her mother told her she would NEVER have any lessons of any kind again because she hadn’t “practiced” enough and had made a mistake. Mistakes were NOT allowed.
Her mother was true to her word. There were no lessons of any kind, no extra curricular activities at school. No matter how hard CrystaLin worked to be “good” to please her parents, she was a failure ~ an embarrassment to the family. There was nothing she could do ~ she was trapped in an endless cycle of shame and guilt: never “good enough to be loved and appreciated for being herself.”
Her father no longer was attracted to her now overweight mother, and transferred his affections to the little girl. Unfortunately, his “affections” were secretly very inappropriate and made the little girl’s life a living hell. To cover up this transgression, the father demanded absolute obedience in every way. She was not allowed to ask questions, or to speak unless spoken to. She was NEVER to tell anyone anything about her family. Her job was to follow orders to keep the house and yard spotless and sterile. If she did not follow orders, she was slapped across the room, hitting the wall with her head or body or beaten black and blue with a belt or hairbrush. She learned her times tables in math to the tune of a belt on her naked body. She was told that everyone in the world was much worse than her parents and that no one wanted her anyway. She was not allowed to have friends over to the house because they would get it dirty.
By day the father treated her as a son to work in the yard and construction in remodeling houses, pouring cement, and building structures. The 10 year old 55 pound girl was carrying (barely) a large construction wheelbarrow filled with 100 pounds of cement, as well as 12 foot 4x6 fence posts and lumber. This caused her spine and joints great pain as she grew. By night she hardly got any sleep because someone was “bothering” her. Consequently, she was failing in school. Her parents told the teachers that she was “retarded” and not to listen to her “stories.” The child was ostracized by her peers because she was painfully shy, cried all day, and her clothes were from another era. She never fit in – anywhere.
Her father caught her singing at the piano when she was ten – practicing a song for the chorus she was in at school. He was furious! He told her she had a horrible voice and to NEVER open her mouth again! So much for chorus. Her voice was silenced for much of her lifetime.
Now, CrystaLin’s father was an atheist (he had grown up going to church five days a week) and did not allow any “religion” in his house. (He definitely did NOT want to be like his mother, the minister.) One summer when CrystaLin was eight, she was sent to her paternal Grandparent’s farm while her parents moved from one city to another. Her Grandmother innocently told her that if she wasn’t a virgin, she would go to Hell! She also told her that her parents told her teachers she was “retarded.” (Did I mention that her family moved 13 times her first 13 years?)
When she came home, CrystaLin thoughtlessly mentioned “Jesus” and was promptly slapped across the face into the wall across the room, told never to speak of religion again, and sent to her room. So, CrystaLin was estranged from her Grandmother ~ the only kind person (and only relative) she had ever known.
Somehow she barely graduated from high school. Her school counselor told her she was NOT college material, that she was borderline retarded. However, she had a school friend that encouraged her to attend junior college with her. Toward the end of the second year ~ nearing graduation, her friend found out about CrystaLin’s father and told her parents. They moved her into their home to finish her AA degree. Then they encouraged her to move to Los Angeles to get away from her parents so she could begin her own life.
Her parents were furious! They disowned her ~ after all, that’s what her mother’s parents had done to her. Of course, there’s more to this story, but that is for another day. . .
Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid, plus other gleanings along the way from training in the healing arts, we see that CrystaLin’s childhood was a miserable life of survival. Remember the foundational five facets of this Website?
The first need for a child is physical needs: food, clothing, shelter and care for his/her well-being. As a child, she did have those basic survival needs met.
The second need for a child is emotional needs and feeling safe: unconditional love and nurturing . That was sorrowfully missing from her childhood as she never felt safe or loved her entire childhood.
The third need is self-worth and power. That one was absolutely missing ~ she had NO “voice” and was not allowed to “think,” have opinions or even ask questions (that was called “talking-back) not doing as you were told.”
The fourth need is belonging and social connections. Her family didn’t really want her or care about her as a person (they saw her as a tool to help upgrade their lifestyle) so she didn’t “belong” and she wasn’t allowed extended family or friends, so that was desperately missing too.
The fifth need is actualizing your potential and spirituality. That was missing as her schooling and development of her personal strengths and gifts were not important to her family as long as she didn’t disgrace the family. Also her ability to be valuable in the world was not fostered and spirituality was strictly forbidden.
Hmmmm, she had a LOT to learn! Her friends thought it was very strange that she had absolutely NO opinions or preferences ~ she couldn’t even tell them her what foods she didn’t like! You can see that she certainly came from great STRESS! Some call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. . .
Now, fortunately CrystaLin Joy had a some Allies in the Spirit World. There were Angels and Animal Totems with her in her dreams, encouraging and nurturing her. When she became suicidal for over 15 years as a young adult with continuous thoughts of ending her life, it was her Spirit Animals and Angels that stood beside her, holding her (Angel Wings are especially comforting) and loving her ~ reminding her of her Purpose for Being.
CrystaLin went on to attend college (there were many encouraging friends and mentors along the way) and discovered that she LOVED learning! She earned an AA in Liberal Arts (before she refined her interest in life). Next she wanted to be a Dance Therapist (because she was so stiff and riddled with fear in her movement through her life) and knew others shared this problem. So she went after a Gymnastics-Dance Degree to complete that BA.
After marriage, before her only child was born (a miracle child at that ~ CrystaLin wouldn’t be able have any more children), she went back to college to learn the ages and stages of early childhood so her beloved child would escape the generational cycle of traumatic programming from her own childhood.
She loved working with the children sooo much, she was credentialed (with an AS degree in Early Childhood Development and Education), and licensed to open and run her own Preschool Learning Center quite successfully. When the insurance crisis for preschools raised their rate beyond financial viability, she returned to college to earn her Public Teaching Credential.
She completed her BS degree in Child Development, Human Development, Psychology, and Education and graduated with honors ~ a 3.87 GPA (remember, she was supposed to be “retarded”). Then spent a year completing a full Teaching Credential while writing a Master’s Thesis. All while raising her daughter and commuting 130 miles a day to attend classes to earn those degrees.
For over 25 years she taught children: Gymnastics-Dance; Preschool Ages 2-7; Public School Grades K-2. The children were such a joy! Teaching them Life Skills as well as the Joy of Learning and how to excel in the standard curricula was very gratifying. Making a Difference in their lives was amazing. She is eternally grateful for these wonderful learning experiences.
However, with the “No Child Left Behind” heaps of paperwork on top of all the wonderful teaching strategies she was already successfully using to empower her students, her health began to decline. At that point, her attention shifted to Alternative Medicine and the Healing Arts to heal her overwhelmed body.
She retired from teaching public school and began her journey to Heal Herself of the deep issues in her tissues that continued to create havoc within her body. She became a Practitioner of Metaphysical Thought; A Reiki Master and an Energy Healer; A Channel for Angels and Guides; Crystals became her Allies and she learned about Sacred Spaces. She went on to complete the Healing Touch Practitioner Training to round out her knowledge of energy healing. Then she turned to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to find and release emotional traumas stuck in her cellular memories.
After twenty-five years of research and study in healing herself, she has accumulated many, many tools to heal both herself and others.
Today, CrystaLin Joy is immersed in peace, harmony and joy ~ she lives in a beautiful sacred space of her own creation, and her healing is nearing completion. She is reclaiming her power and her voice. Many of CrystaLin’s own images as a hobby photographer in her never-ending quest for finding the spirit~voices of the plants, animals, and All Creation, grace the pages of this website. She calls them “Miracles” and if you listen with your heart, you can hear them too. She also has images with inspirational messages that appear here and there. Yes, there are other awesome images obtained from free sources on the net that she is eternally grateful for as well. . .
It is her deepest desire to present many incredibly effective tools for creating well-being and a life of joy to a very stressed world that we may All heal together. CrystaLin is infinitely grateful for this opportunity to reach out to the world, and for ALL of YOU that have come to discover her vision and process of healing the whole self, through releasing excess stress and embracing joy in the process of Creating Heaven on Earth for ALL.
Enjoy Your Journey in Healing Your Whole Self to Actualize Your Full Potential.
BE Well, BE Prosperous, and Live in JOY!